Hey friends! Sharing some lessons I’ve learned this week that might help you too: hold off on coffee before breakfast, take a walk before sitting down at your computer for 9 hours, and never forget to turn your iMessage notifications off while screen sharing. 🥴

Today’s vibes: I’ve been on a big Mariah Carey kick lately (read: for the last 14 years) so today’s musical pairing comes from the queen herself, giving a not so subtle nod to the boundary-hopping boss you’re reading about in 3…2...

—Rod

Out: Follow for Follow

 question 
Should I feel guilty for telling my manager that I don’t feel comfortable with them following my personal Instagram? They've been rather bitter about it for the past 10 months, even telling other people at the company about it. I specifically told them I don’t want them to see my personal travels. What should I do? Should I feel guilty for being that blunt?!—B.

 answer 
You can’t feel guilty for being blunt if I’m being blunt too…this is highly unprofessional of your manager?? What you do off the clock doesn’t need to involve any of your coworkers (unless of course it’s happy hour on the company card).

A word that rhymes with “profound unease” that comes to mind here?

There’s a line between being a coworker and a friend, and your manager has hopscotched their way right over it. While you do not owe them any explanation, here are some tips for not feeling so uneasy about setting your B-words.

DON’T: Feel guilty. When you signed your offer letter, did it have a “must put your manager in your Top 8” clause? No? Then you shouldn’t feel bad.

DO: Consider getting the higher ups involved. It sounds like talking to your manager directly didn’t work the first time. Try again, and if that doesn’t work? It may be time to escalate the issue. Putting things like this to rest is HR’s job.

DON’T: Gossip. This situation is absurd and inappropriate which also makes it hard not to talk about. But really try not to. If I’ve learned anything from the corporate world it’s that word travels fast, and you don’t want to stir up any more drama than you’re already dealing with.

DO: Keep taking cute pics. Everyone say “Mariah” on three!

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

 question 
With all the uncertainty (and layoffs) in tech, is now the time to interview for a new position? I received an interview for an internal role, but my manager said that could “piss off” our director potentially right before layoffs. They said it’s either that or I get hired and immediately fired if layoffs happen as the newcomer. WDYT? Do I go for the new role or wait out the uncertainty?—D.

 answer 
You know that anxious feeling you get when your friend texts “sure” instead of “sure!” after you ask if they want to get coffee this weekend? What’s happening in tech right now is so much worse than that. I can only imagine the nail-biting.

We’re diving into the slew of recent layoffs more on Monday, but in the meantime, let’s talk about your situation. Here’s what I think:

Test the waters. Take the internal interview to understand the sitch at your current company, but look for external interviews too. This way you can gauge how both your company and another one might value you in this ~economic climate~. Especially in weird times like these, looking out for (and marketing) yourself is important.

Their issues, not yours. Your company should not have a role open that they can’t afford to fill, regardless of where they’re finding the person to fill it.

Talk to upper management. Instead of blindly anticipating a wave of layoffs or assuming they’d be mad at you for applying, have an honest conversation with your director. From there you can feel out if the internal position is attainable. And if they’re not supportive of your interest in the role…TBH there’s your answer.

Got a Q for me to A? Submit yours here.

Things to Slack your work besties

…as you send “v7” to the client who promised they didn’t have notes on v1.

From the looks of Monday’s return to office poll it seems like the majority of you don’t mind a little water cooler talk every now and then...

A moment of silence for my anxiety. A millennial therapist shares a three-step exercise to help tune out the bad and focus on the good.

This flashback of 2003 songs was just the serotonin boost I needed for the day. Reply and let me know which one was on repeat on your iPod Nano (and why it was “Me Against the Music”).

Aubrey Plaza hosted SNL last weekend, proving her NBC intern era answering phones and making coffee runs was worth wayyy more than two college credits.

That’s all for today, folks! See you back on Monday where I’ll talk more about these layoffs and how there’s gotta be a better way to handle them.

—Rod