Choose yourself

And don’t feel guilty for a second

Happy Friday! Now that it’s been a whole week, I’m assuming we’ve memorized all three hours of The Eras Tour choreography by now, right? Including costume changes? Because honestly…this might be my “The One Where I Become A Swiftie” episode. No promises. But still.

Let’s vibe: My coworkers can’t stop humming “All Of The Girls You Loved Before” while we wait for everyone to join the Zoom. And I will admit…this does not bother me.

P.S. Want to share your As to today’s Qs? You can do that now! Offer up your POV by commenting on today’s newsletter—click “Read Online” up in the righthand corner and scroll down to find our new ~comments section~. Hope it’s as good as the comments section on TikTok.


Did My Invite Get Lost, Or…?

My company is hosting its first sales retreat on a tropical island and I am one of a handful of managers who wasn’t invited. While I don’t actually want to hang out with people who decided I didn’t make the cut, I’m bitter about not having an all expenses paid trip! Any advice sharing my feelings with upper management about being excluded?—S.

As a former sales rep who's been on these kinds of trips, I can 100% assure you that you’re not missing out. I can name a million things more relaxing than a conch shack full of people vying for C-suite attention and playing work politics.

I realize this doesn’t stop the flashbacks to that time you weren’t invited to Laura G.’s sweet sixteen, so here are a few questions to ask your manager about why your invite got lost in the mail.

  • What were the qualifications for a trip invite? There may be a legitimate reason why specific people were chosen to go. If there wasn’t and this was just a case of playing favorites…a certain Britney song is coming to mind (it’s “Toxic,” the song is “Toxic”).

  • Is there any feedback that can help you earn an invite for next time? Ask for examples of specific goals that need to be reached in order to get you sipping Mai Tais on a beach with Lisa from integrated marketing.

  • Will there be other incentive opportunities offered to those not invited? Maybe you didn’t get the chance to swim with the dolphins alongside your CEO, but check in to see if there are other rewards for the milestones you did meet to fight off those “guess I’m not good enough” feelings.

How To Not Feel Guilty About Choosing Yourself

I’m on track for a big promotion, but I’m interested in switching to a new industry. I’m pretty good friends with my boss, and while they’re excited to promote me, I feel bad having one foot out the door. Any tips on what I should do to deal with my guilt?—F.

1) Life is too short to not go after what fills your cup and 2) letting our friends down sucks, so I can imagine how nerve-wracking this is for you. I was once in a pretty similar situation, and I felt guiltier than the time I cheated at Heads Up, Seven Up in middle school by looking at the tapper’s shoes.

Since you and your boss are friends, I think it’s best to let them know where you stand.

Honesty is the best policy. Having an open and honest conversation with your boss about your career trajectory will help ease your mind and keep an open line of communication to avoid any possibility of them feeling betrayed. If they’re as cool as they seem, they want the best for you and will be happy you’re confiding in them instead of blindsiding them with your two weeks notice.

Another good thing about coming clean? Connections. It’s all about who you know! And your boss just may be connected with some people and resources that can help you get to where you want to go in a new industry.

“But Rod, I’m still feeling guilty!” Don’t. As much as we want to think that a company will crumble without our blood, sweat, and tears…it just won’t. You’ll move on to greener pastures, your boss will find someone to take your position, and the best part of all? You can now introduce them as “my friend” instead of “my boss who’s actually really cool and, I don’t know, maybe my friend?”

Got a Q for me to A? Submit yours here.

Things to Slack your work besties

…after you get back from your three-hour midday nail appointment.

Protests have erupted in France in response to President Emmanuel Macron’s decision to raise the retirement age from 62 to 64 years old. As someone who can’t fathom working 35 more years, I think you can guess how this makes me feel, but we’re breaking it alllll down for you in Monday’s newsletter.

Elementary school soccer practice snack was sick when someone’s babysitter brought SunnyD. Bring the same vibes to your weekend kickball league with SunnyD alcoholic seltzer??

Haley Lu Richardson: Answering questions on the red carpet following her breakout role on a critically acclaimed show, or directly quoting me when my work friend asks if I’m down to “hit” “one more” “spot” after happy hour ends. You decide.

Thanks for reading! See you back at the same place, same time on Monday!



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