Hey everyone! To quote one of the most impactful, profound fictional characters of all time (Regina George’s mom), “Soooo...what is up? What's the 411? What has everybody been up to? What's the hot gossip? Tell me everything.”

I mean it. On Fridays, we do Q&A. I’d love to directly A your Qs, so hit respond and tell me what questions you have about work, life, work/life, or really anything. Just please don’t ask me to rank the Gossip Girl characters. I promise you will not like my answer.

P.S. If you noticed something funny in the subject line of my first email Monday, congratulations on the stellar attention to detail. You should add that to your LinkedIn skills. I’ll endorse you!

Can I Ask You a Question…?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room? (That’s not the question, it’s just that I’ve been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift since I bravely admitted to not being a Swiftie and then every single one of you responded to personally inform me of how big of a mistake that was.)

 question 
My boss keeps trauma dumping on me. He’s had a tough go of it these last few months in his personal life, but now he’s really, really relying on me for mental health support. I like him a lot, but I’m not a therapist. WWRD? What would Rod do?—Ally G.

 answer 
WWRD is going on a wristband as we speak. Okay, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and say your job description probably didn’t include “ad hoc mental health professional” when you signed your offer letter. This kind of trauma dumping relationship is in neither yours nor your boss’s best interest. He’s not getting the help he needs, and you're carrying an outsized burden you’re not trained to carry.

It’s time for one of my favorite things: setting boundaries. Now, just because there is an obvious need for boundaries here doesn’t mean setting them with your boss is any easier—you still want to be a caring and compassionate person in the office, just as I’m sure you are in your personal life. But if I were in your position, I would gently suggest some resources/pose some questions to my boss…

• Ask your boss if he’s ever considered therapy (with a licensed professional therapist). If he says yes, ask if this might be a good conversation to have with a therapist. If he says no, maybe you could offer a resource like this one for finding the right therapist.

• If you’ve had a good experience with mental healthcare, share what you feel comfortable sharing as a positive anecdote.

• And if your boss still isn’t getting it, maybe say something along the lines of “I wish I could be more helpful as you work through this, but I’m not qualified to give this kind of advice.” If you frame it as something you are worried about, he might be less likely to feel guilty about oversharing his struggles…which is a cruddy feeling we don’t want him to feel.

LMK how it goes!

 question 
Should I move my office gossip to somewhere other than Slack? —Taylor S.

 answer 
Dear God yes. Do it now. Have you done it yet? I’d rather sit naked on a hot grill than run the risk of my boss seeing the silly little gossip I share with my work besties. No thank you. That kind of convo is for the safekeeping of iMessage and iMessage alone.

 question 
Is it just me or is LinkedIn kind of popping off right now? How do you use LinkedIn without being cheugy or weird or cringe?—Henry A.

 answer 
LinkedIn is having a little bit of a moment right now, at least for me. I’ve been treating it like it’s an alt account or, like, a fun, Elon Musk-less Twitter…and it’s actually really cool?

Of course there are the LinkedIn bros who just want to shout at everyone about productivity and not sleeping and making 30 Under 30 and #crushing #sales. But there are also tons of normal people using LinkedIn to lurk for new jobs, share career updates, meet new people and network, and a whole lot more. Why not make it fun for those people? I think LinkedIn is like any social network—it’s only as fun as we make it.

So I’ve decided to stop taking myself so seriously and start joking around on my LinkedIn. So far so good. Also no, LinkedIn did not pay me to say this.

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Instead, let’s talk about benefits that actually matter, that actually impact something that you all know is important to me: mental health.

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Things to Slack your work besties

Not gossip, okay?

• The entire concept of “quiet quitting” has blown up wayyy more than I expected it to, but if you’re still wondering what it is/why it matters, read this. And if you already know that stuff and want to make fun of the Boomer-ification of quiet quitting, read this.

• It’s getting chillier, which means it’s almost time to call a game of Fishbowl (I understand some cultures call it Saladbowl) “suitable Friday night plans with friends.” Here are three weird ideas for what to put on your lil slip of paper: Watergate, Van Gogh’s ear, Bruiser Woods (Gemini vegetarian).

• “End of the world fashion” with Julia Fox? Say less.

Thank you for reading and have a stellar weekend! I’ll see you back here Monday. I can’t wait!! This is already so fun!

IDK WHAT DO I KNOW?! LMAO!

—Rod