Hey there! How is everyone? Oh, me? I’m still processing overhearing a store manager tell their employees, “...and remember whoever’s the first to get a customer to sign up for rewards gets a nice HANDSHAKE” this week. Really hoping “handshake” was code for “fat bonus,” because if not, I just…

Keep the Qs coming, this is fun! This week we’re talking about new job scaries and the terror of companies with a “Work Hard, Play Hard” sign above the coffee machine.

—Rod

Can't stop the feeling...of anxiety

 question 
Starting a new job next week in a startup and I have no idea what my area of responsibility will be. Kind of scared that I won't like it there and that I might have made a mistake quitting my old job. Any recommendations on not having Sunday Scaries every day until my first work day?—Ilena

 answer 
There comes a time in every millennial’s life when they start to think “maybe it’s time for a startup.”

Two things: 1) welcome to the club and 2) don’t worry, it’s not all people pretending to be Justin Timberlake pretending to be Sean Parker in The Social Network.

Still, shifting to a startup environment from a corporate one can be a complete 180, and I’m not just talking about getting to wear jeans more than once a month. The vibes are just different.

But before jumping to the conclusion that you’ve already made a mistake by leaving your old job, go in with the mindset that this will be a completely new experience for you, and that could be a good thing!

Some tips to avoid the new job scaries:

It’s called a startup for a reason. It’s just starting out. Startups (think I’ve said startup enough times yet?) are known for flexibility, which means you could have the chance to determine your own vision for your role and responsibilities—and in turn help shape a promising company.

Think about where you want to grow. I’ll be honest—in all of my startup experiences, I’ve ended up doing more than what was in my job description. Sometimes that sucks (more on that in a sec) but sometimes it presents an opportunity for you to jump a couple rungs on that corporate ladder.

But make sure you advocate for yourself. Startups can be fun, but they can also be a grind. If you don’t want your life to just be “eat, sleep, work, repeat,” make sure to communicate your expectations for a work/life balance to your boss and team so you don’t end up taking on more than you were hired or prepared to do. Setting boundaries is a good thing, and it doesn’t mean you’re not down for the cause 🤘.

And always, always remember…it’s just a job. So you put in six months to get a feel for your new job and you find the only positive “perks” are exposed brick, watered down coffee, and a ping pong table in the office? It’s not for you and that’s okay! As much as it sucks, things aren’t always what you hope for them to be. Consider the lesson learned and move onto something else—a job’s just a job, not who you are.

Virtual happy hour? Groundbreaking.

 question 
Hi Rod, what questions do you suggest to ask in an interview as a candidate to better understand company culture or the real challenges of a job? Trying to escape from a toxic environment but don’t want to end up in the same.—Daniela

 answer 
Aside from the times (AKA once a week) when I accidentally have one too many iced coffees in the morning, job interviews may be the most anxiety-inducing things ever. They make us sweat—it’s like the worst first date you’ve ever been on.

But every time you feel like the pressure is on, remember this: You’re interviewing them just as much as they’re interviewing you.

And you deserve to drive a hard bargain. So? Make a list of non-negotiables inspired by what you liked (and disliked) about your last workplace and tailor your interview questions around those must-haves.

Some questions for hiring managers and potential team members that have helped me vibe check a company:

• What would ever make you leave this job?

• When was a time you felt challenged in a good way by your job? What about a bad way?

• What's the biggest non-professional benefit of working here?

• In what ways do you feel valued as a team member here?

If the only thing they can tell you is “Bagel Tuesdays” or that Katie from finance is “nice,” these may be company culture red flags. You (if you’re me) want to hear about the big things that make a difference—mental health days, strong feelings about not working on the weekends, robust benefits, thoughtful career advancement advice, etc.

Set expectations for your next role that need to be met in order for you to take it. If you can’t stand something about your current job and your gut tells you it’s going to be the same at the new one, you’re most likely not going to be fulfilled in this position either. As a wise teenager once told me on TV, never settle.

Got a Q for me to A? Submit yours here.

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Things to Slack your work besties

…when it’s 3pm and you’ve checked nothing off of your to-do list.

Nothing gets my social anxiety poppin’ more than showing up to a party and not knowing anyone. You can 100% of the time find me alone in the corner, petting the dog, and stuffing my face with pigs in a blanket. And while there’s nothing worse than counting down the minutes until it’s acceptable to GTFO of there, Fallon Goodman, PhD, swears that being “socially courageous” is the answer to our nail-biting nerves.

Katie Holmes traveled back in time to her Dawson’s Creek days last weekend in a veeery old school ensemble. BTW, send me pics of your most memorable 2000s outfits. The more layered polos, the better.

A self-love queen. From gut-wrenching heartbreak to winning Grammys for songs inspired by it, the HBO documentary Love, Lizzo shows a raw glimpse into the artist’s life from childhood to recording her latest studio album, Special. And if you missed her dedicating her People’s Champion Award at the People’s Choice Awards to marginalized voices, you must watch this ASAP. Ugh Lizzo 🫶

I’ll see you back here next week where I’ll swear I have so much to get done before the holiday break (when in reality I’ve been checked out since Thanksgiving).

IDK WHAT DO I KNOW?! LMAO!

—Rod