Good morning! I understand many of you reading this might have Googled “how to hex a company” this week in the fallout of the Great Ticketmaster Fiasco of 2022 (we’ll tell our children about this someday). Well, I’ve got fantastic news: This edition will give you a brand new thing to despise other than event ticket monopolies!

But I think it’ll also give us all a giggle or three. Let’s have some fun.

—Rod

Yeah, I Have a Lot of Questions

Number one? How dare you. (I don’t know what to say—I went down a Mindy Kaling rabbit hole and now I’m the picture of confidence and I can’t stop quoting Kelly Kapoor?)

 question 
What are your thoughts on all the big tech layoffs happening? Got any advice on handling being laid off and looking for a new job?—Madeline

 answer 
My inner monologue when I read about Elon Musk firing Twitter employees so unceremoniously and inhumanely included words, thoughts, and phrases I cannot legally write in a newsletter. But I’ll tell you this much—I was peeved.

And not because no one should ever be fired. I’m a man of reason, I can understand that companies and markets change and personnel strategies have to change with them. But there’s a right way and a wrong way to let people go…and Elon Musk did it the wrong way.

I’m going to write more about that (the right way for companies to go about layoffs) on Monday. But today, let’s focus on the people who are being impacted.

This wave of layoffs—at Twitter, but also at Amazon, Meta, Lyft, Salesforce, Microsoft, and Stripe—are more than just a handful of headlines that might make your dad say something like “I told you kids that the tech bubble was going to burst” at Thanksgiving next week. They represent more than 30,000 people laid off in November alone who are now trying to figure out what comes next.

And if you, like me, have been in that position before…you know how brutal it is. Being laid off, especially when you didn’t see it coming and especially when you work in a tech industry known for high-paying roles and lush benefits and endless hiring sprees, feels like a punch to the gut.

So here’s what I’d do if I were on the receiving end of said gut punch:

• Prioritize your mental health. If you’re in a position to coast for a couple weeks and clear your mind, take the opportunity to do it. That deep breath can work wonders.

• Remember that there are tons of people who were laid off in the same industry, so adjust your expectations accordingly when (if?) you start applying to new jobs in tech. Some very smart people shared what they’re looking for in new hires with me right here.

• Don’t feel shame about being laid off. It happens to the best of us, and keeping your (un)employment status a secret could mean missing out on some really solid support from the people in your life.

And most of all? Remember that your job title has nothing to do with your self worth. I know sometimes the two can feel really intertwined, but You! Are! Not! Your! Job! And we’re literally all just floating around on a big rock so don’t let the name on the top of your pay stub harsh your vibe.

What’s that? It’s time for a millennial culture palate cleanser because people being laid off is a total bummer? THEY’RE MAKING A PRINCESS DIARIES 3! THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Disney is reportedly working on a third script for Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi (not a reboot). The Anne Hathaway Renaissance continues. Nothing but respect for my Queen of Genovia. Also: If Chris Pine doesn’t reprise his role as the love interest, I will have strong words for Disney.

 question 
I’m starting a new job where they use Slack…but I never have before. Got any tips for me so I don’t put my size 13s in it and embarrass us all? —David

 answer 
Love the clown shoe solidarity in here right now—welcome, friend! If you don’t know how to use Slack, I’m guessing you come from a Teams family. Luckily, the basic rules are the same no matter how you were raised.

1. Despite what Gen Z says, GIFs are still cool. As long as they’re not the Homer Simpson backing into a bush one. And if someone puts a GIF in Slack, it’s your contractual obligation to respond to it. Never leave someone hanging.

2. Double check the channel. Always.

3. Don’t put your gossip in Slack! We will keep revisiting this lesson.

4. Your emoji reaction usage can say a lot about you. Are you a red dragon or a green dragon person? Best to decide now.

5. And most importantly, never ever just say “hey” without following up. There is a 100% chance the Slack-er on the receiving end of that “hey” will think you want to either fire them or break up with them. Or both. Stating your purpose >>>

Got a Q for me to A? Submit yours here.

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Things to Slack your work besties

…that aren’t “hey.”

I’ve been binging a couple of Slate’s great podcasts about work and culture—Better Life Lab, which covers some of thorniest topics in work and life and has the audacity to write “Economists say the way we work has become so stressful it’s now the fifth leading cause of death” in the show description, and Working, which profiles different creatives every week to learn about how they…work.

We all know Trader Joe’s isn’t for grocery shopping. It’s for people watching and inexplicably cheap bananas for 10 months of the year and fall-and-winter-themed foods the other 2 months of the year. Slack your work bestie about their pumpkin spice hummus to start a fight. Or send them some of TJ’s fall favorites for something less could-this-ruin-our-friendship.

If you want to watch the Thanksgiving episodes of your favorite “vintage” television…

1. Gossip Girl: Well we all know this show invented Thanksgiving, but the Upper East Side’s best rendition is in season 3 (the infamous “Whatcha Say” scene). Close second is season 1.

2. Friends: There are so many. Too many to type out. Vulture ranked them here.

3. Dawson’s Creek: It's season 3, episode 8 “Guess Who's Coming To Dinner.”

4. New Girl: There are no picking favorites here. There is only watching all of the New Girl Thanksgiving episodes in one sitting back to back to back.

And that’s all for today! I’ll be back Monday and I’m already cookin’ up a controversial opinion that I just know you’ll love. See you then!

IDK WHAT DO I KNOW?! LMAO!

—Rod