Hi friends. It’s Monday, which is the perfect time to share that Tom Hanks’ drink of choice is a “Diet Cokecagne.” Which is Diet Coke…mixed with champagne…and also my new happy hour order.

If you asking the bartender for a Diet Cokecagne doesn’t stir some conversation, try bringing up what we’re talking about in today’s newsletter: returning to the office (and why I think it’s useless).

To listen to while you read or while you roll out of bed at 8:55 for a 9 am Zoom call: Fifth Harmony’s best work.

—Rod

Yes or No to RTO?

Where were you when you got the email from HR instructing you to work from home “until further notice” back in 2020? I was watching the trailer for Wonder Woman: 1984 and I remember that because that email changed everything.

But here we are, three years of working in our pajamas later and with no signs of COVID ghosting us anytime soon. So? It’s time to talk about the great debate of returning to the office (RTO).

Companies including Disney, Starbucks, and Apple have already announced their requirement for employees to work in-person the majority of the week.

• Disney’s returning (yes, returning—great corporate coup if that’s your thing) CEO Bob Iger said he believes collaborating in-person is the key to maintaining "a creative business like ours.”

• And while I probably hold the world record for watching the most DCOMs in one sitting (11), I’m going to respectfully disagree.

My reasoning: In true as-long-as-you-get-your-work-done fashion, I’m a firm believer that a happy employee is a better employee, and if that means nailing a client presentation from an infinity pool in Mexico, then so be it! A few other supporting points in my “remote work forever” case?

Mental health: I’m 1) happier and 2) more productive in the peace and quiet of my own home—a safe, cozy place that smells of pine-scented candles, where my boss can’t kill the vibe by popping by to ask if I sent that quarterly report yet (I have not).

More time: Since the beginning of the pandemic, remote workers have gotten back a whopping 60 million hours of commuting time. I’m not great with numbers but I know that’s a lot of episodes of Friends. And a lot of time to do things that aren’t work.

Money saving: Commuting isn’t free. Gas money, car insurance/maintenance, public transportation, and the opportunity costs of the time wasted waiting for the “L” can cost employees in some cities upwards of $10,000 annually. It also costs your employer, from office space to employee resources to supplies.

Here’s the sitch: Technology allows us to remain connected 24/7 if we so choose (but let’s not). Brainstorms can be done on calls, morale can be maintained with occasional company-wide events, and my boss can (and will) pop up on Slack to ask me about that report. 😅 RTO? More like RT-no.

Okay, fine: I was born in the morning but not this morning. I know some of you disagree—and that’s okay! In fact, I encourage it. But let’s make things interesting…vote on your preferred work/life setup and we’ll share the results on Friday.

Things to Slack your work besties

…while you Easy Apply to jobs on LinkedIn from your work computer.

Talk about “getting some time back.” Improved employee well-being and increased company revenue are just a few of the many benefits the four-day workweek phenomenon has shown us. *Immediately sends this to HR anonymously.*

Apparently my 2023 aesthetic is westerncore, lol. Reply to this email and let me know yours. In the meantime, I’ll be channeling my inner Rip Wheeler. 🤠

Channing Tatum takes a lie detector test with Vanity Fair and shares who he thinks is the better dancer between him and Beyoncé. Also, can you guess which 2000s pop star he thanks for his career?

That’s all folks! I’ll see you back here on Friday with some more As for your Qs. Let’s make it a good week. 🙂

Also, if you've been liking the newsletter, 1) bless you—we're flattered and 2) how about share it with a coworker or friend? You can send them here→

IDK WHAT DO I KNOW?! LMAO!

—Rod