Hi friends! We’re back on our Word of the Day BS, and today’s word is “bumfuzzle,” meaning “to confuse or fluster.” Example: I was bumfuzzled when my Gen Z coworker told me I had ‘rizz.’

Tunes for the week: We’ve had Chappell Roan’s “Hot to Go!” in our heads ever since we saw her play last weekend at Lollapalooza.

Have a Q for us? Yap to us here.

Help! I Don’t Like My Friend’s Friend

 question 
One of my closest friends of 20 years has a new friend who I don’t like. I've tried to get to know them and see their strengths/value, but I've seen nothing but red flags. My friend doesn't see it, no matter how many people in our friend group say something. How do I cope with this new difficult addition to the group? —S.

 answer 
First, how dare your 20-year-old bestie have any other friends but you! Kidding. Second, we’ve been here, and while it’s not a comfortable or easy situation, we give you kudos for trying. Let’s talk about some things you can do to maintain your friendship without recreating the infamous speech scene from Bridesmaids.

It’s important to remember that although you’ve known your friend for two decades, people change throughout life, and unfortunately (and fortunately sometimes), so do friendships. Your friend may have certain things in common with this other person they bond over, but so do you two, so don’t let them come between the two of you!

How To Reel Back in Your Boundaries

 question 
I interviewed for a team leader position, but a colleague with “more managerial experience” was chosen over me. For the last year and a half, I went above and beyond to prove myself worthy of the position, but now realize that I need to set some boundaries. My colleagues still come to me because I was the leader of our team up until now, and now I feel guilty telling them to go to the new person in charge. How do I deal with this kind of guilt? —E.

 answer 
We’re sorry you didn’t get the position, especially because you put a lot of time and energy into gearing up for it. Better things are ahead, but for now, let’s chat about setting these new boundaries.

A few thoughts for ya:

1. As much as you like helping others, it’s not your job in this role. Not to mention, you’re not being compensated for it. Sounds like a one-way ticket to Burnout Town if you ask us! If you find joy in mentoring others, have a conversation with your boss to see if there are any other opportunities available to fill that void. If not, it may be time to look at new roles internally and externally that allow you to do so. 

2. The extra time and effort you busted your ass for the promotion can now be exerted (or not lol) elsewhere. This could be doing downward dog in the yoga class your busy schedule didn’t allow for before or adding some additional downtime rotting on the couch after work instead of showing your Boomer coworker how to save a PDF. 

A tip for the next time before you pour your heart and soul into a promotion opportunity? DO NOT CONSISTENTLY (*cough*for 1.5 YEARS!*cough*) DO MORE WORK THAN YOU WERE HIRED TO DO. You can still prove your worth in your current role without bending over backward.

Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s in your job description. And if you’re asked and expected to do more, you need to be compensated for it. Period. 

Need some advice? We wanna hear it here! 

…after you rewatch every single one of Simone Biles’ performances. 🤯

Okay, but back to Chappell Roan for a second. From playing on the street in 2021 to playing for 80,000 people at this year’s Lollapalooza, what an inspiration to never give up your dream!

Thanks to whoever started the “Did Not Make The Olympics Cut” viral trend. We’ve been LOL’ing ever since. 

This frozen Fruit Roll-Up grapes recipe by Tinka.Video on Instagram is the after-school snack of our dreams! 😍

Thanks so much for reading! We’ll be back here next Wednesday, same time, same place! See you then.

—Rod and Gabi